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When dealing with difficult people, remember that your number one goal is always to create a positive feeling in the other person. You should never try to get a person to change their behavior, or opinion, until you have thoroughly established rapport. This is the most important initial step. When this has been secured, you are then ready to work on any issues that may have to be dealt with. When you are dealing with people, you should bring up a positive feeling within yourself, intend for the outcome to be mutually satisfactory, and imagine both of you acting in healthy ways. Your mindset should be calm, up beat, and optimistic, whatever the external situation, your mind should be concentrated upon the desired outcome, and its accomplishment should be thought of as certain. The response of the person may be slower than you would like, but this should not discourage you, as some people do not take suggestions quickly, nor act on them instantly. It is invariably best that people know that they are acting on their personal judgment; they should feel perfectly free, not at all coerced. The goal should always be a win-win situation; one that leaves both of you feeling good. While NLP offers may ways to develop rapport, and offers a skill set that allows for amazing communication, the easiest first step is to simply assume that rapport already exists. If you are interested in learning more, or would benefit from expert assistance, feel free to contact us and we will be more than happy to work with you!
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Ever wonder why someone can not even achieve an half of what they dream of? Blame it on dreaming, and lack of having goals.
Setting goals is a very important part of success, and accomplishment. It is like climbing a 30ft building, and deciding early on how many feet you would like to reach in a specific time. People who set goals create a map toward their achievements in life, marking where they should begin, where to pause, where to push a bit, and where to stop. Once this map is made, it allows the map maker to check where he is in the scheme of things, and whether or not he is making progress that will take him closer to his goals. By setting goals, people will know how they are doing, and what they should be focusing on to achieve their dreams in life. They will know if they can relax, or if they have to increase their efforts. Goal setting means a person is proactive in dealing with life. Being proactive means one is able to outline possible challenges, as well as the solutions to these difficulties. By doing so, a person is not instantly defeated when challenges occur. He knows they may happen, and has prepared a strategy for when that time comes. Setting goals enables people to monitor their progress in whatever they have set out to do. It will help people become more confident, and more motivated about their plans. That said, goal setting isn’t enough, as it needs to be accompanied by a positive mind set and self-discipline. A person may have a map of where he wants to go, but if he does not have the necessary discipline, then nothing will come out of it. To be successful, the goals that one sets should be realistic, and based on ones abilities, as well as relevant external factors. Being too ambitious in setting goals can make the goals unrealistic, and hard to achieve. However, do not set goals that are too low, as this might undermine one’s vision, instead of achieving it. It is also necessary that the person setting the plan also include a time frame within which the goal will be achieved. This way, he is able to determine if he has to expedite his strategies, or slow down a bit. Goal setting will also help a person monitor if he is acting within his plans, and doing things towards the achievement of his long term goals. Once you have some success, even a little bit, give yourself a pat in the back to keep you motivated. But do not be too satisfied with just a little achievement, as this may cause you to backslide. Setting goals can be used in every aspect of life - from one’s personal life, to career or finances. Goal setting can be as simple as setting a target weight when you wish to shed some pounds, or it can be something big, like earning your first million! When setting goals, it is always important to set guidelines that suit your present situation, your capabilities, and other factors that may influence the achievement of your goal. If you desire help in making your dreams and goals a reality, Life Coaching can be of tremendous value. Contact our office and we will be more than happy to help you in your personal journey. |
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Stan Alexander, M.Ed., C.Ht. Archives
March 2020
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