Connecting with those around us is one of the greatest joys that we are given during our lives. All too often we isolate ourselves from the people that we meet, and then wonder why we feel all alone. Of course, this is not to say that you should endeavor to connect in an intimate way with everyone that you meet, but what harm would it do to take a moment to chat with the person standing next to you at the grocery store. Realize that you might be met with a look of suspicion, people have been taught all too well to be wary of strangers, but you might be surprised at how many people will welcome the interaction.
One of the things that I try to do daily, is to make the people that I deal with have just a little better day. When I see that cashier that is being treated like an automaton, I am disgusted. Lets start treating people as people. That guy that is bagging your groceries is not a machine, he deserves just as much respect as you do. Take a moment to thank him and ask how his day is going. Who knows, he might one day be your surgeon!
Another important thing to keep in mind is that we all give off energy. When you notice a positive energy coming from a person that you are interacting with, take the time to let them know how wonderful the energy is that they send forth. In sensing the energy that people give off, you can often know if this is somebody that you should be connecting with.
In my tantra workshops I often do an exercise where people see if they can feel the energy from another person. Some people feel nothing, but others will feel what can only be described as an electrical charge. That electrical charge seems to be there with the people that have an almost karmic connection, and can bring the highest level of good and love into each others life. Now I am not suggesting that you run around doing tantric exercises with everyone that you meet. That would be a little odd, and probably a bad idea. However, be aware of the energies around you; you never know when those special people will come into your life. Who knows, maybe it is that guy bagging your loaf of bread or the teller at your bank.
Take a moment now to think how you will use these ideas. How will you make somebody's day just a little bit brighter? Will you let people know that you appreciate them? Will you acknowledge the feeling of connection, rapport, or even love that you feel; or will you just go on with you life and wonder what you might have missed? I urge you to take the time to appreciate those around you, and open your heart to those with which hat you sense an energetic connection.
Have a wonderful day, and make somebody's day just a little better for having interacted with you.
___Of course, we all want our lives to be as successful as possible. However, many of us have not yet reached the place that we really want to be, and often we let our perceived “failures” hold us back. No matter what takes place in life, it happens for a reason. There are times that one thing leads to another, and what first appeared to be a setback is in reality the key element to discovering a new piece of the puzzle. Instead of keeping yourself in a prison of fear, and lamenting past letdowns, learn to use them as tools to create the life that you have always wanted.
How can I get there from here?
1. Remember that you are not a failure! Everyone experiences setbacks, and the wise learn from them. In NLP we often say that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
2. Help others around you feel better about themselves. This alone can not only help them, but it can set you on the path to becoming an even more empowered person.
3. Keep in mind that your life is a playing field for improvement... and improvement come from learning. Every situation that does not go as you wanted, is an opportunity to adapt and grow.
4. Set specific goals! If you do not know where you wish to be you will probably not get there.
5. In NLP we talk about chunking down. This means taking things in smaller parts. By doing this with the areas of your life that want to improve, you can have small success, after small success... and enough small successes, equal major triumphs.
6. Show your appreciation for others. When we show appreciation for others, they tend to show it in return. When people feel recognized by you, they are happier, and more often want to reciprocate. Just remember to be sincere, and act without expectation.
7. Remember that everyone is different. No matter how much you may have in common, there are no two people that are the same, nor have exactly the same mindset. We all experience the world through our own set of filters... and none of those filters are fully accurate.
Many people are looking to be an instant success, however true success often takes some time and experimentation before it is complete. By following the pointers that I mentioned above, you will be a step in front of the place that many people are coming from.
Of course, if you want to speed up the process even more, you can always get some help from a trained professional in personal develop. As a certified hypnotherapist, life coach, and Master Practitioner of NLP, I have worked with people from all walks of life, and have seen them make amazing strides toward achieving their ideal life. Find a competent professional, and you will be amazed at how much faster you will be able to see your personal dreams come true.
When dealing with difficult people, remember that your number one goal is always to create a positive feeling in the other person. You should never try to get a person to change their behavior, or opinion, until you have thoroughly established rapport. This is the most important initial step. When this has been secured, you are then ready to work on any issues that may have to be dealt with.
When you are dealing with people, you should bring up a positive feeling within yourself, intend for the outcome to be mutually satisfactory, and imagine both of you acting in healthy ways. Your mindset should be calm, up beat, and optimistic, whatever the external situation, your mind should be concentrated upon the desired outcome, and its accomplishment should be thought of as certain. The response of the person may be slower than you would like, but this should not discourage you, as some people do not take suggestions quickly, nor act on them instantly. It is invariably best that people know that they are acting on their personal judgment; they should feel perfectly free, not at all coerced. The goal should always be a win-win situation; one that leaves both of you feeling good.
While NLP offers may ways to develop rapport, and offers a skill set that allows for amazing communication, the easiest first step is to simply assume that rapport already exists. If you are interested in learning more, or would benefit from expert assistance, feel free to contact us and we will be more than happy to work with you!
Stan Alexander, M.Ed., C.Ht.