When dealing with difficult people, remember that your number one goal is always to create a positive feeling in the other person. You should never try to get a person to change their behavior, or opinion, until you have thoroughly established rapport. This is the most important initial step. When this has been secured, you are then ready to work on any issues that may have to be dealt with.
When you are dealing with people, you should bring up a positive feeling within yourself, intend for the outcome to be mutually satisfactory, and imagine both of you acting in healthy ways. Your mindset should be calm, up beat, and optimistic, whatever the external situation, your mind should be concentrated upon the desired outcome, and its accomplishment should be thought of as certain. The response of the person may be slower than you would like, but this should not discourage you, as some people do not take suggestions quickly, nor act on them instantly. It is invariably best that people know that they are acting on their personal judgment; they should feel perfectly free, not at all coerced. The goal should always be a win-win situation; one that leaves both of you feeling good.
While NLP offers may ways to develop rapport, and offers a skill set that allows for amazing communication, the easiest first step is to simply assume that rapport already exists. If you are interested in learning more, or would benefit from expert assistance, feel free to contact us and we will be more than happy to work with you!
Stan Alexander, M.Ed., C.Ht.