One thing that is true for almost every human being is the desire to love and be loved. Yet all too often we see people that first looked like they had a great relationship finding themselves falling out of love, or even worse, feeling that they have been betrayed. What can you do to give your relationships the best probability of success? By following the 7 simple rules below, you can up your chances of having and maintaining a healthy, positive relationship.
1: Never Stop Seducing Your Partner!
Too often I see people think that once they have somebody in their life, they can slack off and stop treating the person with the love, respect and desire that they once did. Keep doing those things that you did early on to sweep him/her off their feet. Aim to make that person fall in love with you each and every day!
2: Do Not Take Your Partner For Granted
By remembering that your partner is not obligated to be with you, but is there by choice, you can motivate yourself to continue the courting throughout life. No matter how amazing or hot you might think you are, you are not so great that you can simply assume, that despite your actions, your partner will always be in your life.
3: Keep It Fresh
Many couples fall into the habit of doing the same things over and over, and never explore different aspects of life or new activities. This can fall into categories that range from where you eat, to more sexual parts of your relationship. By finding new and interesting things to do, you grow together, and build a life of exploration and excitement.
4: Make Your Partner a Priority
We all want to know that we are important to our partners, and by setting time aside, you have the opportunity to discuss, explore and grow together. However, there is more to it than that, by making sure that you are giving your partner time devoted to them, you are also showing them that they are valued by you. Give love to get love!
5: Realize That Differences Will Arise
While we would all like to think that our relationships will be problem free, we all know that this is just not true. I have often told people coming into my life that I will make them one promise: “I will let you down, and you will let me down. The question is not if we will fail each other, but how we will deal with it when we do.” When those times come, fight fair! Do not bring up the past, communicate from a position of “I” statements, use active listening, and voice what you appreciate about the other person.
6: It Is Not All About You!
Be willing to do things that your partner is interested in doing even if you are not exactly thrilled by the idea. A while back my wife was wanting to see a movie that did not exactly entice me. While it was not my first choice, I went because it pleases me to make her happy. Be willing to compromise; give and take equally, and you will be rewarded for your efforts
7: Honest Communication
Communicate with your partner what you need in your life. If you do not let the other person know what you require, you can not expect them to read your mind and fulfill your unspoken expectations. Be honest about your mistakes, and be willing to accept responsibility in your life.
While I would love to tell you that following these guidelines will assure a successful relationship, to do so would be a lie. Relationships take effort on all sides, and sad as it may be, not all relationships last. However by adhering to these concepts, you raise the odds of success exponentially!
I wish you the best in achieving a life filled with love, wonder, and excitement...
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT A GOOD PARTNER IS A GIFT TO BE CHERISHED!
Stan Alexander, M.Ed., C.Ht.